Aleysa’s Gagarina. Part 4.

Aleysa’s Disgrace

I hurt.  I hurt everywhere, but most especially my heart hurt.  Yes, Tommy took my virginity on camera, but I was an epic failure.  I was not able to give Tommy pleasure.  And that hurt me more than it hurt me when Tommy entered my virgin pussy.  Shit!  I’ve never felt such pain before.  And you know that crap about how the pain will turn into pleasure?

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Didn’t happen.  Nothing but pain.  Every time he started to pull out, I’d feel relief that this ordeal was over.  But then he’d push back in.  In and out; over and over, each movement more painful than the last.  But he was kind and didn’t force me to orgasm or continue any longer than it took for him to come inside me.  I felt his warm ejaculate coat my tender and swollen pussy walls and reveled in the feel of his sliding out of me and down my legs.

I should have known that when my head went dizzy so many times that this was a very bad idea.  But I was trapped!  I was in a city, far away from home to earn enough money to at least begin to solve my family’s financial woes.  Now, I wasn’t even sure that I was going to get paid.  I had sold my virginity and had failed miserably in my task.

I turned on the shower, eager to wash away all the filth from my body.  That is how I felt, filthy and a failure.  I should have never given in to an idea of quick money, nothing good ever comes from it! This video will be produced and distributed and it shall bring such shame to my family!  The hot water sluiced over my body as I grabbed the washcloth and poured some soap on it to scrub my body.  As i scrubbed my pert little breasts with the rough cloth I began to feel a strange sensation flowin through my entire body.  It wasn’t an entirely unwelcome feeling, it was just strange.  It felt almost as if , no, wait, it could not be.  I shook my head and pushed the thought of feeling, dare I say it? The feeling of pleasure?  I pushed that thought right out of my head.  I’m not supposed to feel pleasure from touching myself.  My mother always said that to pleasuure one’s self is a sin!  Oh! Sweet! Jesus! I’ve been sinning all day!  This whole crazy idea was a sin!

I hadn’t thought this through very well, now had I?  I was so focused on earning the money my family needed so desperately, that I had not thought about how very wrong this was, especially with my regards to my faith.  As I moved to wash between my swollen pussy lips, I again felt the same feeling that I felt while scrubbing my breast and as bad as it was, I thought about Tommy’s tongue on my pussy and how good that felt and then as I continued to wash myself, my blood began to heat as my hands travelled up and down my body. By the time I finished my shower, I was ready for a second chance with Tommy, but I knew that Tommy had left by then and I wasn’t even sure that I would get paid.  I felt such a failure, to my family, to Tommy and to myself.

When I exited the shower, Franchesca was waiting for me.  It was obvious that she had been drinking directly from the bottle of Anisovaya, she seemed to have no need for a class and she immediately earned some street cred because of it.  She stood quietly, eyeing me from head to toe, tapping the toe of her black Louboutin’s in rhythm with her long tapered nail tapping the corner of her mouth.  She once again looked me up and down and then spoke to the makeup artist who could translate between her English and my Russian never taking her eyes off of me.

At first, I thought she might be angry with me, I know she certainly had every right to be, I had massively fucked up my video.  I though perhaps she was here to let me know that I would not be paid, but I was very wrong.

She walked across the room towards me, doing her best to balance on her heels though she was slightly swaying from the vodka she had consumed.  She stopped short in front of me and even though she worse six inch heels, she barely came to the middle of my chest.  Her sharp blue eyes regarded me and she sighed.  Then, she surprised me by reaching up and gently tucking a loose tendril behind me ear.  She did so with such gentleness and affection that I was momentarily confused by her actions.  The interpreter told me that Franchesca rarely interacts with the virgins; that she gathers the information she needs to tell our virgin secrets and that is the end of her involvement.  But she said she saw something in me that spoke to the mother in her heart and she could not stand by and let my story end this way.

She talked about her early sexual experiences and her only lover, her husband David and how even though they had been in love for many years before they began to have sex, they still needed to learn how to respond; to learn what each other liked and how to please one another.  She told me how frightened she was of her orgasm.  She told me how she did not understand the feelings her body had and how they scared her.  She told me how frightening it was to just let go and let her orgasm happen.  She sat me down on the bed where I had failed Tommy just moments earlier and she tossed me my dress and told me to put it on.

She again spoke with the interpreter as she stared at me and the interpreter shared that Franchesca had an idea.  It seems Franchesca wanted to make another video with Tommy and I and she wanted me to not be afraid of what I was feeling and just to let whatever happen, happen.  She told me that I needed to trust that Tommy would do whatever he could to make sure that I experienced as little pain as possible and that whatever he did to me that I would feel indescribable pleasure and that any real pain would dissolve into pleasure if I just relaxed and allowed it to.

I agreed to do the second video, but Franchesca wasn’t finished.  She told me that to get Tommy to agree to do another video, I would have to let him do whatever he wanted; he’d more than likely eat me to an orgasm, then bring me to a second orgasm by fingering me and then he’d fuck me, hard, as that was how he preferred to do things.  She also told me he had a little kink in him, that he would probably suck on my toes and he would not hold back on his passion.  I had to agree to let Tommy have his way with me and I could not deny him any of his desires.  I readily agreed to her stipulations if it meant that I would have a second chance with Tommy and after he had been so kind and gentle with me, I felt liberated by her offer,  As she strode out of the room, allowing me to dress and get ready for my  next session with Tommy, she turned and looked me square in the eye and told me with all sincerity, that I needed to prepare myself because Tommy liked anal and he’d cherish the chance to pop my other cherry!

And so I stood there, rooted to my spot as it sunk in that I would be redoing my scene with Tommy and that it would include anal.!

I guess I should have been grateful for a second chance with Tommy; but since just regular sex was so painful, I had no idea how this thing like anal would work!  I thought a lot about what Franchesca said to me and it did make a lot of sense to me.  Perhaps the pain I felt was all in my mind, that I needed to just let go and enjoy the sensations; that this would not kill me and while I tossed and turned a lot in my attempt to sleep that night, I was excited that I was getting another chance with Tommy, after all, I did enjoy his passionate embraces and kisses, perhaps I would be able to relax enough to enjoy sex with him.

When I finally managed to fall asleep, it was fitful.  I kept dreaming of pain, of the shame I would bring to my family and when I woke up, I was exhausted; not very sure that I wanted to go through with Franchesca’s crazy idea.

I arrived at the studios, hoping to find Franchesca; perhaps she had some words of wisdom to impart, but she was nowhere to be found.  Sergey told me to relax, that she was watching from somewhere in the building and would be ready to come to my rescue if I needed her.  But, as Sergey explained, she did not like to watch the filming in person, it was too intense for her and she did not want to be a distraction to the action being filmed.  From reading her stories, I always just assumed that she was right there, watching closely as she described the action and the feelings of Tommy and his virgins.  Her stories are so real and so very intense, I just assumed.  It at least comforted me that she was nearby should I need her.

Sergey also told me that this was unusual for defloration.com; anal was not part of the defloration scene, but Franchesca thought it would excite the subscribers, especially since she said that Tommy and I had such chemistry.  Sergey also reminded me that I had all the power here; that all I had to do was to say stop and we would be done.  I didn’t have to do anything that I did not want to do, even if I changed my mind and decided not to do anal, all I had to do was say stop and it would all be over and yes, I would still get paid. Sergey’s words comforted me and soon, Tommy and I were sitting next to each other on the bed.

I guess Franchesca failed to tell him that he could do anything he wanted with me, including anal and when Sergey told him that he could have his way with me and mentioned the word “anal” I could tell that Tommy was excited.

We began by passionately kissing.  Oh! My! God!  Can Tommy kiss or what?  I felt his kisses all the way to my toes and then they headed right back up and landed on my clit.  I could feel myself getting wetter and I could feel the moisture as it began to run down my leg.  Because Franchesca told me this was normal, I did not hesitate and we continued to kiss.  He stroked me all over and this time, when he sucked and licked my breasts, my eyes rolled back into my head from the overwhelming pleasure of it all!  I started to feel dizzy again, but remembering Franchesca’s words, I realized that all these sensations I was feeling, were absolutely normal and instead of being afraid of dying, I was sure that if Tommy did’t get that beautiful and magnificent cock of his in me soon, I would die!

But Tommy was in no hurry, he seemed determined to bring me much pleasure before we even got into fucking and what pleasure he brought me!  He began to finger me, first, slowly and lazily as he kissed me all over leaving a trail of pleasure wherever his lips landed.  And as his passion grew, the intensity of his fingers grew, applying more pressure to my clit and increasing in speed. My breath started to become erratic and I noticed that his breath was becoming heavier.  I couldn’t believe how much pleasure he was getting from giving me pleasure!  That realization alone brought me closer and closer to the edge and I just let go; I let all those feelings inside of me go and just let my orgasm wash over me like the waves against the rocky shore and I felt my pussy clench and release, over and over as white lights appeared behind my eyes and then I was floating like a feather on the wind for a split second and then I crashed back into my body feeling relaxed and euphoric.  I did not want to open my eyes, but Sergey started talking and I was forced to come back to reality.  As I looked into Tommy’s gentle eyes, I could see the pride he had in giving me my very first orgasm.  It was an amazing experience and seeing the pride and lust in his eyes, I could not wait until he was in my pussy again and I could experience more pleasure from Tommy.

Now it was my turn to bring Tommy some pleasure and as he guided me, I took that magnificent cock in my hands and stroked its velvet softness and I could feel his racing heartbeat in the veins that lined his cock.  I felt the heft of his balls in my hand and as I noticed a drop of fluid begin to form on his cock, I just had  to put it in my mouth. I licked him from top to bottom and as I drew my tongue against his protruding veins, I could also feel his racing heart.  It was obvious that I was bringing him great pleasure as his muscles flexed and the moans he made spurred me on towards bringing him even more pleasure.

Soon, he’d had enough and he needed to be in my pussy.  He spent some time rubbing my pussy lips with the head of his cock, the fluids mixing together to create a unique scent that I had not noticed the day before; it was intoxicating.

The, before I knew it, he slipped inside my pussy.  It didn’t hurt as much as it had yesterday, but he was so large and my body tried to adjust to him, but it just would not happen and again, I felt like a failure.  I thought for sure I had failed him again and that we would stop the video, but Tommy held me close and then, before I could register what was happening, Tommy was inserting his cock into my ass.  It burned!  I felt as if my entire body was on fire, flames licking at5 my pussy and ass.  He was gentle and slow; unlike porn videos I had seen where the men slammed their dicks hard and fast into a woman’s ass.  He was very different than what I had expected, but being in my ass seemed to bring his great pleasure, so I focused on his sighs and moans and even though there was so much pain, I tried to focus on the pain turning into pleasure and every once in a while, I felt a twinge of pleasure in my groin.  Then, Tommy would push a little farther in and there would be more pain.  Pain would begin to turn into pleasure and then he would push in a little bit more and again, there would be pain.

Tommy pulled me close to him and began to kiss me and the more passionate our kiss became, the more pleasure I began to feel and Tommy began to move deeper in my ass and more quickly and soon, I could no longer focus on the small moments of pleasure and the pain of it all got to me and suddenly, Tommy gently pulled me off of him and put his cock into my hand.  Tommy needed to cum, but he also needed to stop the pain he was causing me.  This time he came on his stomach and I could see the evidence of his orgasm.  It was strange, yet beautiful; it was the evidence of the pleasure I brought to him.

It was over all too quickly.  I wanted more of Tommy.  I wanted him to make love to me until I was nothing more than a quivering mass of goo and pleasure.  I wanted him to keep fucking me, over and over, both in my pussy and my ass until I got used to his size, until I could pleasure him with my pleasure.

I was sad that we were finished.  Perhaps in these few short moments we had together, I fell a little bit in love.  I do not regret selling my virginity or letting Tommy have his way with me.  I know that someday I shall get pleasure from sex, and I shall never forget Tommy or his passion or his gentleness with me.  Tommy was my first, in every way possible. Tommy owns my pussy and my ass, I just wish I could own him a little bit, too.

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