Hi, my name is Rebecca Brown and until just a few days ago, I was a virgin. I have wanted to be a porn actress since I saw my first porn video three years ago at my schoolmate’s house.
There were four of us girls hanging out after classes and enjoying the beers we had snuck from the refrigerator. We all became a little bit drunk and we started playing some sexy games. One of the girls had found a stash of her brother’s porn DVDs, so we put one on the television, tuned the lights down low and began to watch. It was The Defloration of Tamara Uromy.
It was so fucking hot! My panties flooded with heat watching as the actor Tommy began to caress and pet her breasts and I marveled at how her breasts responded by swelling and the nipples becoming hard and I so wanted to feel what she was experiencing, so i began to pull and tug at my breasts and the sensation was exciting and forbidden. As the video progressed, I could hear the quiet moans of my schoolmates and looked around to see them all playing with their tits and when Tommy began to finger her and rub out her first orgasm, we all followed along. By the time the video was over, some had orgasmed, but I had not. The feeling was too strange and foreign and my feelings scared me. We also checked with mirrors to make sure we were all still virgins. I came away from that video with one desire and one desire only and that was to be a porn star too , like Tommy, so one day, he would fuck me like he did the virgin in the movie. From that point until I turned 18, I became obsessed with Tommy and watched every clip I could find, over and over. I masturbated to them many times, but still I could not give over to the strange way it felt when I would tug at my nipples or finger my pussy. My girlfriends talked constantly about orgasms and of boyfriends and of losing their virginity, but I remained true to my dream of having Tommy take my virginity. The day of my 18th birthday dawned bright and early with my family waking me up with lots of hugs and presents and I’m sure they thought my excitement had to do with my birthday, but really it was for my excitement of being of age to become a porn star and lose my virginity to Tommy. That afternoon, I went to the biggest erotic modeling agency in Budapest and applied for an agent to represent me. They had me take off my clothes in front of the agent and then a photographer started taking pictures of me. I did not like being nude in front of these strange men and they had me bend over and spread my ass cheeks and then they brought the camera so close to my pussy and then they touched my pussy lips and one man even fingered me and then spread lube on my lips “to make them fresh and dewy” he said.
Then another man came in, dropped his pants and told me to suck on his dick.
I thought I did not want to do this. I wanted Tommy. My mind was so confused as I quickly dressed and started to yell at these men. They were so confused at my attitude. And I was so confused at them wanting me to do things without pay. They finally discovered my secret, that I was a virgin. But instead of sending me packing, they sent me to defloration.com for my photos and defloration. The photographer at defloration.com, was kind and gentle with me. He took amazing pictures of me. He made me feel beautiful and sexy and when the time came for my virginity to be taken, I was ready and excited to meet Tommy. But Tommy wasn’t available to do this for me. Yes, I was disappointed, but had heard and seen Renato, so the switch was okay for me. I was very nervous, with my palms sweating and my heart racing, but I would soon loose my virginity to a porn star and be on my way to becoming one. I was looking forward to all the movies and money I would make and being able to leave my home and become independent.
But, I was unprepared for the feelings that my body would have. Renato was gentle and respectful, but I fought him and my feelings all the way. I refused to give into the pleasure my body was feeling and I was so ashamed that I could not look at him. I stubbornly refused to allow my orgasm to happen and I clamped down on his hot and way too large cock as he stroked in and out of my pussy. This was not what I had expected and fantasized all these years! I was even sure at some point that if this is what it meant to be a porn star, I wanted no part of it.
I spend so much time of my defloration thinking in my head and fighting the feelings of my body, that I had an unexpected orgasm as Renato stroked faster and faster, hitting my clit with the base of his penis harder and harder until we both came, in indescribable pleasure as he pumped his seed into me starting another orgasm to build in me with the final thrusts of his cock. I was shocked that I had given myself over to the pleasure I had tried so hard to deny myself and Renato, and shocked that the moment he pulled away from me I wanted him again. I went home that evening, disappointed and yearning for another chance with Renato. I had not expected to hear from producer again, but in a few days he called and asked me to come back. I’ve made more videos for defloration.com and photographs, too. You can see everything by becoming a member today.
4 thoughts on “Rebecca Brown’s story.”
Open Letter To Rebecca Brown
I am a journalist from the United States and I am writing an article about the explosion of the Pornography Business in Eastern Europe post Soviet breakup and I came across your video with the Porn Star Renato.
But, before I get into the meat of this letter, I want to give you a little history about myself so that we are absolutely clear of my position.
I am the product of the free love generation. What that means to a girl of your age is that I am old enough to be your grandmother. What that means to my world view is this: I am a product of a generation of feminists. However, I didn’t burn my bra because I didn’t have enough boobs to fit into a bra. I believe in equal pay for equal work but have no delusions that I will see this happen in my lifetime; I believe that marriage is a partnership that requires each member to give 150% 100% of the time yet, it would be small of me to keep track of who is putting in what percentage; I believe that women can have it all without having to sacrifice family or career as long as their partner provides as much support as she gives, but I am under no assumption that when trying to have it all, something or someone will always suffer; I believe in the family, but I also believe that in some cases, children are best raised by a single parent, however I am under no illusion that parents believe they are not doing the best by their children by remaining together. And I most certainly don’t believe that any woman has the right to be selfish to the detriment of her family. So, I am a feminist with a side of traditional woman thrown in for good measure.
As a feminist, I feel that pornography objectifies women but the women who desire to become porn stars are just as responsible for that objectification as the men who run the industry and that includes you.
When I first stumbled across your debut video I was angry at the producers for putting you in such a position, but then as I thought more and more about this little video of yours, my anger turned to you.
You see, it was your choice to present yourself to the producer as a porn star. You are certainly a naturally beautiful woman and I believe you most likely would have been successful, however, your attitude sucked and it is your attitude that will prevent you from being successful at anything you do.
You see, when you went to the producer, you knew before hand that you would be shedding your clothes before an unknown man. You knew before hand that you would be touched and you knew before hand you would lose your innocence on camera. You knew all of this and yet, you still showed up, you still shed your clothes, you still had sex with a porn star and you still collected your pay at the end of the day. And then you even agreed to come back for another video. And that was all while throwing a major temper tantrum in front of the camera.
You acted like a three year old child made to sit still at the dinner table while greedily gulping down a meal.
So you took from the producer, was less than gracious to your co-star and still ate your dessert with seemingly no guilt as you returned a second time and behaved just as badly.
If you really didn’t want to do your assignment, you could have said “Thank you for the opportunity” and walked out of the studios with no harm or foul. But you didn’t do that, your behavior spoke volumes and unfortunately your attitude sealed your fate as a failure in the porn business of which you repeatedly stated that you wanted to be involved in. What I am about to tell you is necessary so that in the future you can find a good job and succeed at it.
When you accept a job, you must accept it graciously and wholeheartedly. In other words, you show up, on time with a smile on your face and a “thank you” on your lips. And unless what you are being asked to do is illegal, you put your best effort forward. Throughout your modeling session you continued to pout and not in a sexy way. You assumed the positions half-heartedly and grimaced when given instructions and your face continued a countenance of disgust throughout the shoot. You were damn fortunate that the producer even paid you for your work that day, much less allowed you to continue your contract with Renato.
When you accept a job, you accept it with the knowledge that you will have co-workers. Renato, in this case, was your co-worker. When you work with others, you must recognize that you are no better than any of your peers, even if they are established as professionals with much more experience than you, no matter what their station in business or life, you are not better than them. You must treat them with respect and compassion. You did neither. You sneered at this man, who like you, was simply doing his job and you rebuked his efforts to make your part of the job much smoother. He behaved like a gentleman, showing concern for your feelings and yet you treated him like shit. Many women would give everything to work with a man who respected them and genuinely tried to help them in their job.
You showed absolutely no compassion for his feelings and yet, when both he and the producer gave you another chance to prove yourself, you continued your onslaught of rudeness and disdain. You played them for all you could get from them and if you continue with these little attitudes of yours, you shall never be a success.
No, Rebecca, not only is the porn business not for you, it seems like you shall never find your place unless you change your attitude. This has nothing to do with the porn industry. The women in the porn business are there because the want to be there, after all, we are not discussing sex-trafficking, this was a job with an established director, photographer and co-star. Not everyone is cut-out to be in the porn industry. Women must have a special attitude towards the work they do and the actors they work with. You must be able to separate the act of sex from the act of making love. You have to accept that there are things that you will be asked to do that you don’t like to do and you will have to do them with a smile. You have to accept that there will come a time that age will catch up for you and unless you have married a plastic surgeon or have consented to become a science experiment, you will become obsolete and will be replaced. And, you must most importantly be able to separate your personal life and feelings from your screen life.
If you are really honest, the things you must do to be in the porn business are the very same things you must do in any type of business. Except that in other businesses, you usually are wearing clothes to work.
So, Rebecca, you see why I don’t think that you will do well in the porn business or any type of business for that fact. You are immature and need to grow up. You need to recognize that this first sexual experience should not affect your future sex life, but I fear that your immaturity may complicate this. You need to change your attitude towards others and especially those you work with. It may come as some surprise to you, but you are not the center of everybody’s universe and that the sun and moon does not revolve around you. You need to apologize to the producer and your co-star and keep the lessons I have attempted to teach you here to heart and grow from your experiences.
Your best asset is your beautiful smile, but all I came away with from your video was the memory of you sneering at your co-star and disrespecting the producer and photographer. I most certainly hope that the next person you work for and your next co-worker come away with the memory of your smile, your kindness and your dedication, something good to remember instead of having negative feelings towards you.
I want to partcipate with you.
Thank you very much for your comment!